To Be Human
by kurohimex105
Summary: Naruto fears that he is slowly loosing his humanity and becoming more like the demon fox that is sealed within him. After a horrific nightmare he decides it's best for him to leave but who will he turn to in his hour of need. This is a yaoi with angst, tragedy and romance. I've rated it mature just to safe.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone this is my first fanfiction for Naruto so I hope you enjoy reading it. The story is set in the Shippuden series shortly after the incident where Naruto transformed into the Kyuubi with four tails and went on a rampage and where they also failed to bring Sasuke back to the leaf village.

**To Be Human**

**Chapter One**

The red hot crimson flames raged throughout the entire village, screams echoed throughout the night as the villagers ran for their lives. A monster no it was a demon this demon had come to claim it's revenge against this village and all who lived in it. The lifeless bodies of those who could not escape the demons wrath lay strewn in the once busy streets of the village.

The human that was once known as Naruto Uzamaki was no more the spirit of the nine tails fox demon had consumed the young man's spirit. Now he was nothing more than a blood thirsty demon who was out of control. His once cobalt blue eyes where now narrow and the colour of blood, his finger nails had grown to become claws, his fangs had become sharp and pointy and his blonde locks where now long and spikey and stood on end. He was no longer human now he was only a demon.

Naruto stood in the middle of the once proud village, flames crackled and the smell of burnt flesh filled the night air as he looked around for his next victim. As he stood sniffing the air a voice called from behind.

''Naruto….. Naruto…!"

Naruto slowly turned around to see who was own of the voice that was calling him.

The voice got louder as the person drew near and came into view.

''Naruto….. I finally found you….!"

Naruto just there and stared at this person who had been calling him only moments before.

''Naruto… what's up with you?... why are you doing?

Naruto didn't respond he just there like before with a blank expression on his face.

''Come on don't tell me you don't know who I am!"

''It's me….. have you forgotten all about me and what we mean to each other?"

Naruto slowly started to walk towards this person and stopped until he was a hairs breath away from him.

''Naruto….. so you do rem….!"

The person never got to finish their sentence because Naruto plunged his fist into the young man's chest and ripped out his heart. The heart was still pulsating in Naruto's grip his hand covered in blood as the crimson droplet slowly fall to ground. The young man now lay motionless on the ground just another corpse like the rest. Naruto casually walk's away as he devours the heart in his hand.

''….!"

Naruto suddenly wakes up dripping in sweat his body quivering from the shock of the horrific dream he just had.

''Just a dream! It was just a dream…..!" he mumbles to himself as he slowly gets up from his bed.

Well that's it for this chapter you will just have wait to find out what happens next even I don't know. I bet your all wondering who it was that Naruto killed well you will just have to read to find out !


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone and here is chapter two . I would like to take the time to apologize to you all it seems I made some mistakes while writing the first chapter. I kind of got carried away in my writing and totally forgot to check it for any mistakes, I tend to do that a lot so I'm very sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. I promise I'll try my best from now on so I hope you will stick with me.

**Chapter Two**

Naruto slowly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, he still felt a little shaken up by the dream he had. Ever since that incident with Orichimaru on the bridge where he had totally lost it and gone on a rampage as a mini version of the demon fox he had begun to have strange and horrific dreams. The problem was that lately he was having these dreams more and more and each one was becoming more violent and brutal than the last. He wondered if he was slowly becoming like the demon fox, would he eventually loose his humanity and become nothing more than a blood thirsty demon out for revenge.

Naruto sighed as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes where the same colour as always a beautiful cobalt blue. He then checked his teeth still the same clean and pearly white nothing unusual about them at all, he then looked at his hands. The same hands that had been covered in so much blood in his dream these same hands that took the life of someone precious to him.

Naruto stood and stared at his reflection for a good half hour, all he could see in the mirror was the image of what he had become in his dream a monster no a blood thirsty demon something to be feared.

He decided to take a cool shower hoping it would help him to relax, he let the cool water wash over his body, the water felt so good and refreshing as it caressed his skin. But the dream suddenly flashed in his mind and the once clear water turned to blood, he stared at his hands that now seemed to be stained crimson he tried to wash them but the more he tried the more stained they became. Naruto let out a loud cry as he crumpled to the wet tiled floor of the shower, he sat there hugging his knees as tears fell down his cheeks the water from the shower mingled with his tears as the water continued to wash over him. He hoped that the noise of the running water would help him to forget the dream, he wanted to forget every thing.

He didn't know what to do any more, he didn't want to tell the others for fear of what the might say not only that they wouldn't understand what he was going through any way. There was only one person who could possibly understand what was happening and who could help him now but he wasn't here. He had his own village to attend to and Naruto didn't want to bother him or be a burden. Then Naruto suddenly recalled what he had done in the dream he had killed someone but who was it he couldn't remember who it was.

Naruto shakily got up from the shower floor and made his way into the main part of his apartment, he toweled down and got dressed. He looked at the clock on the set of draws by his beside it was 6:30 am he the noticed the picture, he walked over to it and picked it up and stared at it for a good while. There in the picture was Kakashi sensei, Sakura, he was in the middle and then there was Sasuke, tears slowly began to fall down his cheeks and Naruto found himself apologizing to the picture.

''I'm sorry…..!"

''Oh god….I'm so…. very sorry…..!"

''Sasuke…. Sasuke…I'm sorry…..!"

''Please ….. forgive…..me….!"

''I'm….. so… sorry…!"

Naruto wasn't sure why he was crying all of a sudden all that he knew was the moment he saw the image of Sasuke in the picture he was overcome by a feeling of deep regret and guilt. He sat on the edge of his bed the tears continued to flow he couldn't stop as he stared at the picture he held tight in his hand.

Well that's it for this chapter hope you enjoyed reading it.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi there well here is the next chapter , if there are any mistakes I'm sorry because I'm writing this even though I have the flu and should be resting but the story just keeps roaming about in my head. I'm afraid that if I don't write it down I will forget it completely.

**Chapter Three**

As Naruto sat on the edge of his bed staring at the picture his alarm clock suddenly went off, he looked up to see that it was 7.00 am he couldn't believe that he had been sat there for a whole half hour staring at the picture. He picked up the clock and switched off the alarm and placed it back on the bedside draws, he then went to the bathroom to wash his face. As he did he wondered why on earth had he been staring at the picture in the first place and why did he start to cry.

While Naruto was pondering this question there was a knock on his door and a familiar voice from the other side.

''Naruto… hey Naruto… you up yet?"

''Yeah I'm up Sakura I'll be with you in a minute okay!"

Naruto sighed as he looked at his reflection in the mirror one more time before leaving his apartment he couldn't help but feel that something strange was happening to him but he didn't know what.

As soon as Sakura saw Naruto she noticed that something was up with him, he wasn't his usual happy and energetic self.

''Hey Naruto are you okay you don't seem like yourself today did something happen?"

''No…..no… I'm fine really just had a little trouble sleeping that's all nothing for you to worry about really!"

''Oh…. Well if you say so!"

''So urm… Sakura what are we doing today?"

''WHAT….. Your telling me you forgot that we were meeting up with Kakashi and Sai today to practice our team work together!"

''Kind of and urm…Sakura if you don't mind me asking but who exactly is this Sai person you spoke of, is he going to be a new member of our team?"

Sakura just looked at him with a puzzled look on her face, she couldn't believe that Naruto had forgotten about Sai of all people. The every same guy that Naruto refused to work with in the beginning and because of Naruto Sai had decided to stay with team Kakashi just to help Naruto.

''What is it Sakura did I say something strange?"

''Oh no don't worry about it, tell you what I'm gonna go on ahead why don't you go and get some breakfast after all you can't train on an empty stomach can you!"

''But Sakura I'm not hungry and besides I want to meet this Sai person."

''Look Naruto as a medic ninja I'm telling you to go and get something to eat do I make myself clear!"

Naruto didn't like the look this was heading in, he knew better than anyone what Sakura's like when she gets angry so he decided it would be in his best interest to do as she says.

''Okay Sakura you win but where should I go I can't decide what to eat, where's the best place to eat?"

''What are you talking about you always eat ramen at Ichiraku's Ramen shop Naruto, don't tell you've forgotten that!"

''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm….. the name sounds familiar but for some reason I just can't place it, do you think you could take me there?"

Sakura was starting to get worried now not only had Naruto forgotten about Sai but now it seems he had somehow forgotten about his favourite place to eat in the whole village.

''Sure I'll take you there but you have to promise me that you'll stay there until I get back okay Naruto!"

Naruto was confused and puzzled by the way Sakura was acting it was as if she was taking care of a five year old.

''Sakura what's up with you, your acting awfully strange for some reason, have I done anything wrong to upset you because if I have then I'm sorry!"

''No… no….. you haven't done anything wrong Naruto, nothing at all."

Sakura didn't know what to say to him, how do you tell someone you care about who is one of your best friends in the world that they are starting to forget things. As they walked to the place where Ichiraku's shop was they didn't speak, there was an unsettling silence between them. Naruto truly believed that he had done something to upset her and Sakura was concerned about Naruto and what was happening to him.

They soon reached Ichiraku's but before Naruto could say or do anything Sakura suddenly rushed into the shop and demanded to see the owner. The old guy who owned the shop came out from the back to see who was making such a fuss.

''Oh it's you Sakura this is surprise we don't usually see you this early in the morning, so how can I help you?"

''Look there is something very important I have to tell you okay and it concerns Naruto!"

Sakura told him about Naruto and that for reasons she can't explain he was starting to lose his memories and that he had forgotten all about this very Ramen shop. The owner couldn't believe what Sakura was telling him how could Naruto be losing his memories.

''So then Sakura what would you like me to do!"

''Just try your best treat Naruto as just a normal customer that's come to your shop for the first time and not as regular okay!"

''Is there anything else you want me to do?"

Sakura thought for a moment then said.

''Yeah you could try asking him things about the past it would be a big help if we know what memories he has forgotten and who he's forgotten.

''Well I can't promise you much but I'll try my best, you know I just can believe that something like this could happening to that young man after all he's been through."

Sakura just smiled as she did her best to hold back her tears.

She went over to where Naruto was, he had been waiting patiently for her while she had been busy talking to the shop owner.

''So is everything okay Sakura?"

''Yes why do you ask?"

''Well you were talking to the owner for a long time are you sure everything's alright, your not hiding something from me are you?"

''No….. of course not everything is fine so just go in there and have some ramen and I'll be back soon okay."

''Fine if it will make you happy!"

''Good now then I have to go I'll be back soon okay now don't forget your promise Naruto!"

'' I promise to stay here till you get back okay!"

Naruto watched Sakura leave and as she did he sighed heavily he hoped that Sakura hadn't noticed anything strange about his behavior he didn't want her to know that he was beginning to lose his memories. When he heard the names of Sai and of the Ichiraku Ramen shop he honestly couldn't remember them even though they sounded familiar to him. He wondered what other memories he would eventually loose and if that terrible dream would somehow come true, was he slowly losing his humanity and everything he holds dear.

Well that's the end for this chapter, as you can Naruto has begun to lose his memories what other memories will he loose and what else is going to happen to him? Find out in the next chapter. Oh just to let you know I've forgotten the name of the owner of Ichiraku's Ramen Shop so for all you die hard fans out there I'm sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi there and here is the next chapter so I hope you like it, just to let you guys know I have absolutely no idea where this story is going so let's find out what happens together.

**Chapter Four **

Lady Sunade was sat at her desk going over some reports from missions that had recently been carried out when suddenly Sakura burst through the door looking quite worried.

''Sakura what is the meaning of this haven't you heard of nocking before entering a room honestly!"

''I'm sorry Lady Sunade but I have something very important to tell you and it can't wait!"

''So… what is so important that you have to barge into my office and make a mess!"

Sakura hadn't realized but when she burst into the room she had broken the door not to mention the piles of paper work that now lay scattered all over the floor.

''Please forgive me my Lady but this matter concerns Naruto!"

''What about Naruto! – He hasn't done anything wrong has he?"

''No my Lady it's his health that concerns me and I'm not just talking about his physical health either it's his mental state I'm worried about!"

''I see so tell me why do you think this, what's got you so concerned?"

''Well you see my Lady when I met up with Naruto this morning he didn't look well at all, his eyes were blood shot with dark circles underneath them."

''And when I asked him about our plans for today he had completely forgotten them; but that's not all when I told him that we were to meet up with Kakashi and Sai; Naruto looked at me with a puzzled look, he didn't know who Sai was or that they had ever met before, he also forgot about Ichiraku's Ramen Shop!"

''I see… this does sound bad, Sakura I want you to go and find Kakashi and Sai tell them of the situation and to keep a close eye on Naruto!"

''Yes mam understood but what will you be doing?"

''I going to go and take a look at Naruto's medical records form when he was last hospitalized something could have triggered this or it could be the work of the nine tails sealed within him; in any case let's see what we can find."

Sakura quickly left the building to go and find Kakashi and Sai and tell them about Naruto she just hoped that Naruto didn't run into some of the others before she had a chance to explain the situation.

Meanwhile Lady Sunade rushed over to the hospital to check Naruto's medical records there had to be something that was causing this, she hoped that her worst fears would be false.

While all of this was going on Naruto was sat at the counter in Ichiraku's he really didn't feel like eating but he knew what would happen if Sakura found out that he disobeyed her. He looked at the bowl of ramen placed before him the noddle's swimming in the broth when suddenly the colour of the broth changed. It was no longer a simple bowl of ramen but a bowl of crimson blood and a face appeared in the red liquid calling out his name and asking him why.

''Naruto…..why …didn't you save me…?"

''Why….Naruto…..!"

Naruto felt the ice cold hands of guilt wrap around him as the fear and sorrow took over, he suddenly stood to up clutching his aching head as he cried out in pain.

''….!"

The shop owner rushed over to Naruto's side who by know was knelt on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks as he kept repeating the same phrase over and over again.

''I'm sorry….. I'm so….sorry!"

''I'm sorry….Sasuke….I'm sorry…..!"

''Naruto what's wrong?"

The kind owner who secretly thought of Naruto as member of his family was very worried for the young man who seemed to in so much pain and anguish. He held Naruto in a tender embrace hoping it would calm him down, he could feel Naruto's quivering body shake as he sobbed as the young man's hot tears flowed down uncontrollably causing the owners shirt to become damp . Just when the owner believed that Naruto had settled down he suddenly cried out in pain once again but this time a strange red aura surrounded him. The owner fell back looking shocked as the strange aura engulfed Naruto.

''…..!"

Naruto couldn't stop the pain he was feeling nor control the sorrow that he felt, all he wanted was to forget everything. This was when he heard the voice deep within himself, it sounded dark, menacing and yet somehow alluring all at the same time.

''Do you really want to forget everything if so I can make it happen just say the word and it will be done!" The words oozed out like sweet honey.

Naruto knew whose voice it was, it was the voice of that bloody nine tales which was sealed within him. He didn't want anything to do with the nine tales anymore but the offer was so tempting all he wanted was to forget about that dreadful dream.

''Could you really do that?" Naruto asked the nine tales from his inner conscious.

''Yes I can if you wish it so!"

''Can you really, will the pain stop too!"

''Yes if you wish it so!"

Naruto thought for a moment before deciding, he had had enough of it all, all of the pain, sorrow and constantly wondering if he could be even be called human at all.

''Very well then go ahead and do it I want to forget so just erase it!"

''Are you sure about this Naruto?" The nine tales asked.

''Yes I'm sure just do it fox!"

''As you wish!"

On hearing this the nine tales smiled and laughed wickedly his plan had worked now Naruto would forget everything and he would easily be able to take control on Naruto's body and soul.

There was a sudden flash of light in within Naruto's mind and the red aura that had previously been surrounding Naruto vanished.

Naruto slowly stood up and stared at the shop owner who was slowly getting to his feet, as the shop owner turned around and looked at Naruto he could see that something was different about him. His once cobalt blue eyes that were filled with so much life now looked empty and dead and there was no emotion on the young man's face.

''Are you okay there Naruto?, you had me worried for a bit!"

Naruto just looked at the Ichiraku shop owner as he replied.

''Who are you?"

The shop owner didn't even get a chance to reply because Naruto casually left the shop as he made his way to the gate that leads out of the village.

Okay that's it for this chapter hope you liked it, I wonder what's gona happen next? I still can't remember the name of the Ichiraku shop owner and it's been driving me NUTS!


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